Rock bottom is a beautiful start.

Like Arapiles the Grampians national park has been a livelong obsession. It is so close - only ten hours South along the Hume - and yet so far, like a mirage always competing with famous overseas location for our attention. The grass is always greener I guess or in this case the boulders are always more sparkling, but as we discovered on this trip into a different time zone, that is not the case. For boulderers and climbers alike, Halls Gap can be the center of the universe surrounded by impeccable stone, rivaling the most famous locations in the world. Every morning the hardest decision is which bouldering or climbing crag you should visit. Each unique in aspect and location from dry desert environs to lush forests strewn with giant boulders, yours is the burden of choice. Will and I planned this trip early on in the year and we assembled a crew of young enthusiast: Andrew, Cameron,Chris, Roman and Louise, who were ready to go when fate intervened and Will was there with us in spirit.

Hard bouldering is like hitting your head against a brick wall — it's great when you stop.

Day 1 Saturday 15th December of our Grampians trip was spend mostly driving down the Hume Highway until the waterlogged roads gave way to fast back country highways. We arrival in a thunderstorm with the tent site engulfed in torrential rain perhaps an ominous foreboding or a cleansing experience to prepare the rock for our arrival - the choice is yours and the cup is always half full, we had already drunk the other half long ago. There was just enough time to look at Venus Baths - the closest bouldering area to the campground only a short walk in the forest from where our tents were located before the first Chicken Parmigiana beckoned us back to the pub.

Day2 Kindergarden, Trackside boulders and Snakepit, dawned much dryer and we decided to establish our campsite after having splurged in a luxury cabin the night before. There was no time to loose and we decided to start our climbing odyssey, where most people begin in the Kindergarden located on the North and Northeasterly side of Mt.Stapylton in the Hollow Mountain area. This was our first experience with the Grampians sandstone in one of the driest caves in Victoria - a place where rain never reaches and the stone is exceptionally compact. The classic warm-up traverse A horse is a horse (V4**) was also the easiest climb in the cave and we were still very ambitious.
Haribo Boulder (V8) Roman's first flash ascent of that grade. Spanking the Monkey Bar direct (V8** a couple of tries)
We had a look at Flash Gordon (v7***) but the moves looked incredible awkward and it is a problem for the very tall.
The Nevin Rule (V7***) arguably the must do line in the Kindergarden. Unique and very aesthetic. I was not able to pull the first side pull move of the ground with awkwardly high feet. Roman got it and Chris came close.
It was a good introduction to the Grampians and we moved down into the valley towards the Trackside boulders on the way to Taipan wall deep in the Mt.Stapylton Amphitheater. Some of the boulders littering the way are remarkable and we played around on the Amazing boulders: Sick Nutter V5*** an incredible line and full of grading controversy with most people thinking it goes at V6. Chris and Roman S. tried the moves but it felt impossible. We found that many three-star problems in the Grampians felt much harder than their grade suggest. Mostly it does not matter since the moves are incredible and rock quality is unbelievable. But adding a grade to a three star line will make you fell slightly at ease with yourself.  Also at the Amazing Boulder V5 sit start (*) Cameron tried this one move wonder with a hideous undercling sit start but alas it was too hard to gain the jugs up high. We decided to head on towards one of the all time classics in the Grampians and our goal for the first day located at the Snakepit, which was in the glaring afternoon sun by now:

Waiting in the Air (V7***) This uniquely commitment problem is an 8-move traverse to establish yourself at the bottom of a huge dyno. Swing wildly and go all out to catch the huge jugs. One of classic dynos in the Grampians. Chris and Roman sent quickly but this was Cameron's problem and one of the reasons he followed us into the bush. He through himself hard at this magnificent line over and over again coming agonizingly close. But once his finger started bleeding it was time to call it a day - it was still only day one !Roman Senior only used the arête to avoid the dyno completely for a nice V3**. On the way out Roman J. played on the scary Volume 1000 (V4***) probably the highest and most aesthetic highballs in the country. The dyno is the first move but the tricky finish high above the ground makes this a very series solo. My fatherly instincts got the better of me here and we bailed in the setting sun. It was a hard first day and we returned to our first pub meal in Halls Gap. Here is Japanese team showing how its done.

Do what you must and your friends will adjust.

Monday Day 3 arrived with the sun drying out the last remnants of the thunderstorm in the Campground and we decided that it was time to spend a day climbing with the alternative days for bouldering and climbing for the rest of the week. It is fairly tricky to choose from one of the many premier climbing crags in the Grampians with a variety of different styles but a visit to the hidden wall of the Gallery deep within the interior of the Grampians National Park is probably a must. The drive is almost exclusively on dirt road and takes about 50 min from Halls Gap. Route navigating requires a GPS and things went smoothly until we ran into a bogged down huge camper van across our road. Two French had gotten stuck big time and we tried in vain to dig them out for on hour. We had to move on since climbing time is precious but we promised we would give them a lift if they are still stuck there at the end of the day. Once we finally located the well-hidden Buandik camp ground we spotted a few climbers on a rest day and ask them if they could assist. The jumped at the opportunity and with a winch ready at hand they went to help the French (they were gone when we passed them later in the day).

Meanwhile we chose not to follow the Climber Access Path and erroneously went straight to the aboriginal cave paintings of the Billimina shelter instead. Amidst much grumbling the cultural moment got its tick mark and we backtracked to the climber access for the steep access to the Gallery. 30 min of uphill climbing got us to a ridge, where finding the hidden crag became difficult. We eventually located the Gallery cave through a deep cleft in the mountain around a blind corner. What a hidden gem, the view of the orange cave with its modern chalk painting is breathtaking.

Chain of Fools (23**) is probably the best warm up here and will get you nicely pumped with its most outrageous jugs through an overhanging roof. The crux is the first move and also choosing the right jugs amidst a huge smorgasbord of holds.
Weaveworld (23***) same start but trending slight left to a crux exit move with a couple of hard traverse moves. Then a no-hands rest on a ledge is welcome before the final juggy, but exposed arête to the high anchor. The panoramic views of the national park here are breathtaking. I was in my element here and it was time to visit the line I came here for. I had been dreaming about this line for years and now it was time to taste the steepness of one of the most famous lines in the Grampians. Monkey Puzzle (28***) the start boulder crux felt horrendous and was dispiriting when you realise all the climbing that is still to come. Fun moves to the roof lead into desperate slopers out the cave. At the lip the crux undercling awaits with a very precise deadpoint to a big slot. From here the overhanging headwall looms large with continuous pumpy steep moves on spaced out good holds. Simple magic and very happy that I could still do all the moves despite a lot of rests. I will be back for this - one fine day. 

This above all: to thine own self be true.

After a day of hard climbing it was time to switch to bouldering again and Day 4 Tuesday turned into a bouldering smorgasbord with Hollow Mountain Cave, Anderson Boulders and Loopies, all in one day of feeding frenzy. Hollow Mountain Cave features some of the most famous boulder problems in Australia and was high on our list. We headed back along the Great Western Highway for 40 min from our campground towards Mount Stapylton, loaded with four bouldering mats. Andersons is a boulder field right along the track up to Hollow Mountain and we had a few projects on our tick list. The area we were trying to find is called Andersons Consulting Boulder with its perfectly shaped 45degree 3meter roof. It is a natural moon board with some fine line. Chris and Roman S. managed to send "4.45 V4**" but the pick of the crag was: This Way Up (V6**) which only Roman J. and Cameron managed to tick. The first move proved very hard on tiny crimpers until Cameron unlocked a gast-on sequence and managed to send his hardest problem to date.
Just behind we chanced upon the amazing flake of Faith (V3***) with is technical layback followed by a lunge to the lip with a mantle. But we spend way more time than we should have and our main objective was still a little way of. We had some quick lunch - just the usual cans of tuna with Jazz and muesli bars for energy - and headed along the trail to Hollow Mountain. The ramp up towards the next tier was well hidden and we missed it completely. Heading along to the Bad Moon Rising Wall instead. Luckily after 10 minutes of bush bashing we ran into a climbing couple who told us the bad news so we backtracked and found the right way up via a family who descended with a toddler in tow!  Finally we arrived at the cave and it was all we had imagined with The Wheel of Life - the worlds first V16 slicing straight through the guts of the mega cave. Roman and Chris through themselves at Cave Man V9*** but the sharp full body undercling was just too much for day four. Andrew, Cameron and Roman threw themselves at the classic Wimmel Friedhoff V5*** which is described in the guide as: "a strong contender for the best V5 in the country." But there was more, just around the corner a little higher up with panoramic views of the surrounding desertland waited Loopies with yet another perfect 45degree campus stoneboard. It just kept getting better and the rock quality is outlandish to say the least. Here waited another problem we had come to the Grampians for:  Bitch Slap (V7**) climbs to a hideously bad left hand sloper with an all out dyno to a good but awkwardly placed sharp pocket. Land the pocket and you are done: only Chris and Roman managed to send. Roman S. send the nearby Fashion (V4***) A sprinkling of rain send us back into the cave for some final attempts before the late afternoon sun beckoned back to our camp site for another fire with marshmallows.

What are men to rocks and mountains?

Day 5 Wednesday marked a return to hardcore bouldering at the Bleachers our local version of Fontainebleau, with house size boulders strewn throughout a lush forest setting. The weather forecast for Wednesday was not that great with light rain predicted throughout the day so we decided on a steep day of bouldering on some of the giant boulders in the Australian bus. A very short drive from our campground to the Bleachers, every turn in the trail revealed another gem. The infrequent drizzle made us protect cruxes with our socks. Some of the problems were wet so we have a great excuse to return soon for some unfinished business. Here is one of the highlights: the only send of the amazing Evac V6/7*** depending on how you do the crux. It is long and sustain with a heartbreak sloper finish.

How wild it was, to let it be -Do I dare Disturb the universe?

On Day 5 the fingers were starting to look a little pinkish so it was time to change it up a little and get back on some long routes. The difficulty lies in the huge range of choice for a day at the crag. We decided on the Amnesty Amphitheater near the Mount Stapylton camp ground for its good mix of easy and hard grades. The number of three star routes is extraordinary here. Louise completed her first grade 17* here with a send of Amnesia - a beautiful two pitch pinnacle arete. The boys warmed up on two classics: Rachel's Roadhouse (20*) and The Flying Emu (20*) both fairly hard for the grade with distinct cruxes or maybe it was just our bodies complaining a little after climbing for five days? Who knows just don't listen! Next was the area classic: The Tyrants Grasp (22***) right next to a waterfall, with some of the most perfect pockets I have ever pulled. The description reads: "One of the best grade 22 sport routes in 'Victoria'! Next was the amazing Sting like a Bee Direct (23***) with its huge jugs through a steep roof. The sun was now hitting the crag straight on and there was time for one more hard route. I send Chris up what I thought was Amnesty International (24***) but after he unlocked the powerful crux high up on the wall, he told me no-way this was 24?  I checked again and he was right, I accidentally send him up the crag's piece-de-resistance The Good Fight (25***). It was my turn next for the clean so I decided to give it all I had left in the tank. To my surprise I cruised through the crux and ended up at a good rest three meters below the anchor, with no bolt in sight. Must be easy, its in the bag I thought - WOW I can still onsight grade 25, my mind raised ahead!!! LOL, I will never forget these last three meters: a simple bulge smooth with two tiny crimps to lock off, bring your feet up and deadpoint to even smaller crimps - then take the huge whipper. So basically I did NOT do the crux at all, it is this last crimp boulder problem high on the route that guards the exit to this amazing route. But alas after 5 days it was game over.
But not for the boys, there was one more boulder problem to conquer close nearby our campground. The highball dyno Copperhead (v7***) was waiting for a sent. So we raised back to the campground and started all over again.

At my back I always hear
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.

Day 6 on Friday the 21 December was our last day and we chose the Campground Boulder area with its super easy access since we had spend several long days searching for trails and getting lost in the Australian bush. It has taken its toll and on day number 6 on the rocks our skin levels where at an all time low, but there was still some panache left in us for this great area right near Mt.Stapylton campground with a huge selection of classics established by two waves of an Austrian team (1999) followed by a French team (2004). There was no reason to save our skin, so it was time to leave it all behind right here because tomorrow we would drive back home.

After a few warmups we started at the classic Obelisk (V4-5***) with tricky moves out of a dark cave into the light. Right next to it was the Klem Loskot short dynamic classic: Gourmet Cat V8**. It is simple: look of two sharp and painful micro crimps, somehow bring you left foot up and dyno as hard as you can to the lip. If you catch it with one hand you are off, but bring the second hand with you dynamically you might stick it. Roman somehow managed to onsight this!  Chris threw everything he had into this problem and completely shredded himself. It nearly destroyed him until one final all out attempt led to glory - his first V8 well done!Butthole surfer V9/10 Roman through himself at this powerful compressing problem, unlocked every move but the link up alas eluded him ever so close. Minus V4** close to the Butthole Surfer with same starting hold but nails. I could not work out the crux span through the roof to the lip exit? There was time for one more classic problem for the entire team: No sex after Mushroom (V5***). This is a must do classic with a tricky hand and foot sequence leading to an all out deadpoint from a perfect slot with bad feet.

Day 7 was our return to reality day with an early start and just over 1067kim of driving to head back to the urban jungle but also the beach, the waves and our beloved North Shore.