Going to Tasmania is like opening the first layer of a matryoshka doll, each treasure you discover just reveals another one drawing you deeper into the paradise of dolerite columns, sea cliff stakes, granite, and igneous rock formations.  If you are a bush-walker the long approaches and endless coastal walks are heaven but if you are a climber this can quickly turn into a nightmare approach. Tasmania has the largest exposure of dolerite in the world with 30000 km2 and a volume of 15000 km. Ranging from the Jurassic dolerite of the Candlestick on the Tasman Peninsula, to the columnar jointed dolerite at the soaring Organ Pipes of Mount Wellington and yes we were going to do it all in just one trip. Our original tick wish list was impressive and we began calling it the Three Poles tour, changes abominably by Will to the Three Nobs tour. Our ambitious list originally included 1. Totem Pole – or the much easier alternative The Candle Stick; 2. The Moai and 3. The Pole Dancer, but it was an open-ended list and kept growing as we got closer.

Like all our adventures Tassie had been planned for a while with a raft of possible contenders, the final team that made it on the first exploratory trip was Mark, Roman and Will. Jason missed out because he was running a marathon and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, which is really not a bad excuse. But don’t worry the next trip is already being planned….

We set off on Saturday night on the short early morning flight to Hobart and quickly realized that not booking the Caravan in advance was a bad idea, since apparently it was still peak time until the Easter weekend. We were lucky enough to score one anyway from Apollo Caravan’s near the airport. A cute group from Indonesia just beat us to the booking queue and we had to listen to the salespitch twice. Two hours later with Mark working his way through a sizeable chunk of the Walking Dead comics we had our very own 4 berth caravan. It was lunch time on the first day and we headed straight up to the Organ Pipes with lunch being much lower priority.  

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Slabified Organ Pipes	Mark in Panorama	Mt.Wellington Organ Pipes	The team

Organ Pipe’s orientation proofed somewhat difficult for newbies like us and one column really looked like the next one. We took some time to find our place amidst the soaring columns but once we got started we climbed till the sun was low behind Mt. Wellington. A quick tour to the summit and a few panorama shots – this is when we really missed Jason’s selfie stick – and it was time for dinner in Hobart. As luck had it we chanced upon Hobart premier chicken-parmigiana for a whopping 5dollars a piece. Yes you are reading this correctly and for an extra 5 you got salad with it. A couple of beers later and we headed with our camping van to Seven Mile Beach free camping.

The forecast for Sunday was pretty bad so after overdosing on coffee we headed in the morning rain to the local climbing stores and the adjacent rock climbing gym, another time-honored tradition. The gym turned out a lot better than advertised with a dedicated lead wall that tried to kick our butts. Of course we put it into its place and showed the locals a few tricks!

Monday morning forecast was still grim so we decided to bail from Hobart for an unplanned stop to Frecynet Peninsular for some coastal granite climbing. We drove through the night and camped at the stunning camp ground leading to Mt.Amos slab climbing and Wineglass bay beyond. But we had other plans and after a few Weet-Bix we set off towards the coast for a climb near Harlequin Buttress. Once again a murder walk of 40 minutes got us to the most amazing coastline you can imagine and we marveled about which crag to choose. After more searching around some sea sprayed walls we settled on a wall that did not require double ropes. Most routes are here are one way up and at least 40 meters and since we had just discovered that one of our ropes had gone walk-about (my birthday rope - sniff) we settled for a smaller cliff. Lucky we did because the all-natural 15 and 16s were kicking our buds with gusto and it took us some time to get used to the new rock. The day ended with a challenging grade 18 hand crack that would refuse to give up one of our Camelots. Neither full body weight nor sunscreen oil would release it so we parted ways.

You're only blessed with a limited amount of madness, so don't let it go to waste

We had escaped the weather in Hobart but it was time to head back and purchase another rope for the big ticket items still waiting. For that we had to move location again towards the Tasman peninsular and Fortescue bay. Armed with a brand new 70m rope we settled into Fortescue camp area the focal point of the famous three cape walk. But for us it was now business time, we had three days left with the weather clearing so no more excuses. Wednesday the weather was peaking and we reserved that day for something special: plan A the Totem Pole and if conditions were not right than plan B  the Candelstick or 5 natural pitches after a lovely morning plunge into the raging sea. Which was it going to be. Luckily I overheard at the camp ground that another party was heading for the Totem Pole so we started early at 5am to be the first once there.
We arrived the next morning in darkness with cloudy skies and the faintest of shimmers on the horizon. The air was full of anticipation what would it look like and is it as intimidating as they say?

Not all things we don't see aren't there

Totem Pole
Probably the most outrageous and best known sea stake in the world at Cape Hauy, was our primary objective on this trip and ambitiously placed on our tick list first and foremost - just because it was too good not to be attempted. If we failed than plan B was to climb the nearby Candle Stick equally adventurous but much lower graded. But first we needed to fail on the Totem Pole. After rain had chased us all over Tasmania from the Organ Pipes to Frecynet Peninsula we had plenty of time to get used to Tasmania rock and by Wednesday 21 March it was time to put it all on the line for what we thought would be our biggest route of the trip. The weather forecast was average but we headed out at 5am anyway to be the first on the cliff and give it all we had.
You can get a good indication of the environment you are getting yourself into by watching the excellent Pommish Invasion, which documents the nearby Candlestick multipitch climb. The Candlestick and the Totem Pole share the same starting ledge the former involving a hideous swim and the later a mad pendulum amongst the raging sea.

Will Pitch1 hanging belay	Rope work	The Totem Pole	Will fixing pitch 1
Will and Roman Pitch 2	Tyrolean Traverse	Will on Pitch 2	Totem Pole Group

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

Slackline Master Mark	Mark with Wildlife	Hobart Gym	Gear Porn

Mark was kind enough to stay behind and back us up on the Tyrolean Traverse back to the mainland so Will and Roman rappelled down to the bottom of the Totem Pole where a tiny rock platform above the sea provided some shelters from the pounding waves. It appeared relatively calm until we started swinging across from the platform on our 70m rope and tried to catch the two bolts on the Totem Pole some 5 meters away. It was on my second or third try missing narrowly that a massive breaker soaked us completely and turned my chalkbag into sludge. A few tries later Will established the hanging below a couple of meters above the sea and I set out to climb the first pitch of Deep Play (24 mixed). The rock was incredibly wet but at least there were 5 bolts to clip. The first bolt was about 5 meters up and luckily a red Alien placement provided just enough protection to slow down my heartbeat. Falling here would sent me past my belayer to the deck which could either be water or rock? After the wetness subsided a little higher and the first crux from an underling out left was completed I clipped the last bolt halfway up the route and took a deep breath. From here it was all natural climbing to the half way ledge. Safely completing the first pitch I looked down to Will below, soaking and smashed about by the waves,  trapped in a wind tunnel and trying to sort out two ropes from a hanging belay. Yet all I saw was one big fat smile, we were going to be okay! After he followed up the first pitch we both breathed a sigh of relieve. It was time for the crux second pitch the Free Route 25*** mostly bolted with the occasional cam placement. Although harder and much longer at 40 meters, this pitch felt much friendlier than the first one. The climbing was superb with outstanding rock quality and a few technical cruxes to make you work for the ascent. But Will and I were on top before we knew what had happened and set up the Tyrolean traverse back to Mark and the mainland. Meanwhile another team of climbers was keen to top-rope the top pitch and borrowed our rope to slide across from the top to avoid the wet first pitch. It had been a relative quick ascent and we were all done by early afternoon. Plans for the next day were starting to take shape already and we only had two days left to increase the speed.

The Moai.
We could rest a little the next morning so we made it a 6am start instead and headed out in darkness again. This time the approach was 90 minutes and route finding would be an issue. We walked for ages and the legs felt heavy from the previous day but we found the bath to the 3 pitch drop below very quickly. It was exposed and windy but when we got our first glimpse of the monolith below our hearts jumped a beat. Solitary on its own platform in the sea it was a unique site mesmerizing and drawing us down fast. Three rappels later we walked reverently towards the giant stone monument surrounded by the ranging sea yet somehow miraculously completely dry. All three of us relished the normal direct route 18*** at about 35 meters straight to the top by spiraling around the sea stake. The obligatory summit shot does not get any better. Then there was the Edge 22*** a two pitch arête with a beautifully crafted mixed first pitch – a tricky crux and you are on a safe belay ledge but you might as well push to the top. The second pitch arête was stunning but I was too focused on following the bolts missing all the holds to the left hand side. Will made this pitch look far better by following the magnificent featured rock how it was supposed to be climbed. Happy to tick another sea stake summit, we rope soloed the three pitches back up to the mainland using our tibloc as auto belay devices. Then we trotted back several hours to the camp site arriving one minute before 4pm to find the camp shop still open for a late coffee. It had been a huge 10 hour day.

Roman Will Pole Dancer	Will with Chimney	The Stegosaurus Ridge	Columns of Hercules
Will with the way back	One more belay	Pole Dancer Top	Lunch ledge
Will Pole Dancer	Mark on the exposed Ridge	The way to the Cape	Mark and Will Poled

Pole Dancer expedition

Friday was our last climbing day and we wanted to go out big, we had one more chance to empty the tank completely so we made the one hour drive in darkness across to Cape Raoul. There are some lines in this world that defy descriptions. We can try as I do below, but I am afraid it is of no avail. You just need to go and see for yourself:

“Pole Dancer (22) would probably be the best sport route for its grade in Tasmania. Add the mind blowing position at the end of Cape Raoul, and you have one of the best 22’s in the universe.”

The Pole Dancer route is so remote that it will take a full day just to get there and back as a team of two let alone three. Be warned this is an expeditionary undertaking to climb a single pitch route. You must take care with your cam placements as some of the rock can be slippery, I had several friends slide out of their placement below me exacerbated, as I watched from above. See this documentary for the obligatory heli-rescue.
We needed to be back that night so it was once again a 5am start and to make matters worse we were facing a 2 hour approach with heavy packs just to get to the start of the first descent. But things did get worse, waking at 5am it was raining and everything was soaked. Who would make the call?  I was 50/50 and tired after 2 days of relentless climbing, the odds were against us, but Will saved the moment. Let’s just go and have a look. We could walk in the driving rain for 2 hours and the come back with another 2 hours but at least we had given it a chance – those odds were good enough for us and we started walking once again with head torches in the wet darkness clinging to us. After one hour walking the rain eased, another 30 minutes and the light parted the clouds after two hours we stood at the entrance to the Cape spreading out before us dried by the wind and with the challenging climb about to begin. We gave ourselves until 2pm to turn-around no matter how far we would get.
The first rap was dirty and we left one of our ropes behind for an ease exit later. Finding the track along the base to the cliff was tricky and we got lost. We regrouped and found the first crux up two pitches of impeccable cracks. The first called invitingly Rain of Terror (18**) is where the heli-rescue happened but it felt good today and the protection was solid. This was followed by Jihad  (18***) with the first half to a good stance hard to protect. I placed several aliens into flaring cracks but did not feel comfortable, arriving at a jug the friend below me slid out and my heart sunk. Take a deep breath and keep going. A rest ledge with rings YES save again followed by a short tricky traverse. Then the second part begins a layback hand crack fist size perfectly placed to eat up your cams this was worth coming for alone. The position was outrageous and brought you to the top of the Wedding Cake island high on a ridge leading out to sea where the prize was waiting.

Route-finding got very tricky from here a few abseils and climbing a chimney to end up at a dead end. The tack stops and you are looking for the Stegosaurus Pitch traverse: left, right or through the middle? We searched and searched but nothing. It was 1pm and our turnaround time was approaching fast. We will have one more go punching straight through the middle: two large columns in space but as you climb up – surprisingly a hidden rock platform links the two pillars, a squeeze chimney beyond. We squeeze through ready to throw in the towel but two shiny rap ring far beyond beckon us on. So we must continue I mumbled to myself because Will wanted to lead this most outrageous pitch on the planet and nothing was going to stop him. Another rap and we are above the seal colony. Down climb another chimney and the first ugly pitch grade 17 brings you to the first of three Hercules Columns. We surface on a windswept platform and a single prong of rock shots up skyward immaculate perfect with 360 degree of ocean and blue sky surrounding this natural miracle. Will’s smile is widening and he starts up the cruxy sequence to the first bolt. I lie back onto the granite rock surface and feed out the rope as I watch him climb skyward higher and higher.

Then it is my turn and before we know it, it is time to return. We knew that from this point it would take at least 5 and a half hours for a party of two! 
We reversed every pitch reclimbed every crack, chimney and raped every climb again to arrive at the rotten dirty access gully with our rope attached just before darkness fell. You must be very proficient in rope handling and getting your rope stuck in the exposed and windy conditions can lead to disaster. We had several heart stopping moments and thankfully Will and Mark made some vital time-consuming decisions that may have saved us a cold bivvy that night.  Trudging back the two hours to our camp ground Mark came alive and picked up the pace to bring us back to the campground  a smidgeon over 15 hours return as a three person team. To climb one single pitch of the most outstanding rock formation I have ever seen. Involving innumerable rappels, countless chimneys, several natural pitches and an endless amount of squeezing through constrictions and scrambling over loose and exposed rocky ridges named Stegosaurus and Wedding Cake. Was it all worth it you ask? …..

Everything was closed by the time we headed back to Hobart and we hid our beds sometime after midnight. Tomorrow we are flying home.
It had been an intense week and I am not sure if I want to repeat this again – maybe next year……

If you want more photos go here: Tasmani 2018

• Additional Resources: Pillar at the end of the world

See you all soon ...

Roman 8 April 2018